Question Of The Day: Do You Measure Your Self Worth In A Healthy Way?

 

  When I had the original idea for this blog I really didn't know what it would turn into. To me it was just going to be something fun and it has been. I have really enjoyed it so far. I have gotten some feedback as well, and I am thankful for the support of my friends and family. After a few posts people actually started reading my blog and taking interest,(at first I thought only my mom and boyfriend were reading). My purpose then started to change a little.

  I truly love helping people. We all need help at a certain point in our lives, and I have the desire to "pay it forward." Some of my blog post will hopefully educate, inspire, and help people that I wouldn't be able to reach otherwise. This post today is a little different than what I had first intended to do. I want to talk about a certain thing that has been in my life lately, and hopefully it will help those with similar problems.

  I am a female, as many of you probably figured out, and I love to do girly things. I love fashion, makeup, clothes, things that some people may think are superficial. A lot of women, like myself, like to look nice and pretty as well. Even men can be into their appearance. It is always nice to get a compliment from  someone on the way you look. It often boosts our confidence. This is all fine until we start letting these superficial things validate our worth. The pressure to look a certain way can then get out of control. 

  Like I mentioned before, we are all human. It is normal to seek validation and feel like you are good and wonderful. We want to feel important, unique, and well liked among our peers. Appearance can sometimes taint the way we think about ourselves and our importance. This is where things get unhealthy.

Validation Through Social Media:

     When this blog took off I went from a few views to a few hundred views. At first it wasn't a problem, but I began to get a bit obsessed with looking at the stats and how many views I received that day. I would get a little bummed if I didn't have a certain head count. Now I know that sounds silly and childish, but have you ever been bummed when you didn't receive the feedback you thought you would on social media. I know this doesn't apply to everyone, but I once had a friend tell me they would delete a picture from Instagram if it didn't receive a certain amount of likes in a certain amount of time. I'm not trying to call out this person. As a human being we seek to be liked, whether it is on Facebook or in reality. However, it can get very unhealthy and in today's time it's even more dangerous due to social media. A lot of post on Instagram involve the infamous "selfie." This gives people the freedom to determine if they're going to like something based on our appearance. I'm not "selfie shaming," I have been known to post a selfie or two in my day, but when we start seeking comments from others to build us up is when it gets out of control. Why should others have a say in your appearance? Social media can be a great thing, but when you let others validate your worth through one picture, it is probably time to put the phone down. 

Comparing Ourselves To Others: 

  With all of the social media and instant communication we can see what anyone is doing majority of the time. A lot of people can start to compare themselves to others more easily because of this. Comparing ourselves to others happens a lot, especially with appearance. When I was younger I hated the birthmark on my face. Others girls didn't have birthmarks on their faces and I was confused by this. I use to ask my mom if I could get it removed because I wanted to look like everyone else. No matter how much you want to change the way you look...sometimes it just isn't possible. I will never be able to grow super long legs like Taylor Swift because I am not Taylor Swift...I am me. It is pointless to compare your body and looks to others because it will never happen. Now, if I just crushed your dreams, remember that your features are unique. They are what makes you you. You should embrace them and learn to love them. Stop measuring your self worth by comparing your looks to others. I am so glad I never got my birthmark removed. 

The Expectation:

  We live in a society that is constantly telling us to look our best and try to "out pretty" everyone else. We have certain social ideas and concepts that if we don't look a certain way we won't be accepted. We put physical labels on each other. There is an idea of what is "beautiful" and what we think isn't beautiful. This makes me sad. It is our job,as a society, to stop creating the expectation and standard of what beauty is. There is no limit. There is no one right answer in what is beautiful. Beauty can be found in everything and that begins with finding confidence within yourself. 

  I sometimes struggle with letting social media, society, and others affect the way I view myself. Sometimes it is difficult to even follow my own advice. The  important thing is to be aware. When you start feeling down and your confidence is on low, take a step back and evaluate what is causing that. Maybe it has to do with the things I listed above...if so it may be time to take a break from social media, comparing yourself to others, or letting certain comments get to you. Always remember that you are definitely not alone. We all struggle to find our place, and I hope that maybe I helped with something you are going through. If you have any questions or comments please feel free to reach out to me. I just want to help. We are all in this big ol world lovely world together..why not try to make it lovelier. 

-Abbey Shae

  

Ice Cream Social "Maple Ice Cream with Salty Buttered Nuts"

FALL IS HERE! To welcome in this wonderful season I have to post an Ice Cream recipe, but not just any recipe, a seasonal recipe. Pumpkin, cinnamon, warm buttered nuts, and maple syrup are all the things I want in my fall treats. This Jeni's Ice Cream recipe takes some of those flavors and combines them into, "Maple Ice Cream w/ Salty Buttered Nuts." Maple Ice Cream is great paired with pumpkin pie, on top of pancake, or even with a warm cup of coffee. My parents went nuts for this Ice Cream and if you are a Maple Syrup lover you will too!

To begin you will need a few ingredients:

-2 cups whole milk

-1 tablespoon plus one teaspoon cornstarch

-3 tablespoons cream cheese

-1/2 teaspoon fine sea salt

-1 1/4 cup heavy cream

-2 tablespoons light corn syrup

-1 1/2 cups grade B or C pure maple syrup *VERY IMPORTANT* make sure you get good quality syrup. This could make or break your Ice Cream. This recipe makes about one quart of Ice Cream.  

Later you will need more ingredients to make your nuts, but let's get the Ice Cream part first.

Get out your bowls ya'll. Things are about to get serious(:

First take the cornstarch and 2 tablespoons of the milk and combine until you get a slurry mixture. Set that aside. In a seperate, medium bowl whisk your soft cream cheese and sea salt then set aside. Finally mix the cream, milk, and corn syrup in a large bowl and set aside. 

In a large saucepan bring the maple syrup to a boil over medium to high heat. After it begins to boil reduce heat and continue to boil until the syrup begins to darken around the edges. Be careful not to leave on the burner too long because it could possibly burn. Remove from heat and slowly add the cream mixture stirring constantly. Place back on burner and boil for about 4 minutes. Remove from heat and add the cornstarch slurry you prepared earlier. Bring back to a boil, once again, and stir for 1 minute. Remove from heat. Take the cream mixture and whisk with the cream cheese mixture until smooth.

   

The next step is very important. Your mixture is still going to be warm. You'll have to chill the mixture in order for it to become solid. Take a large ziplock bag and pour the mixture in making sure it is fastened tight. Then take a large bowl and put an immense amount of ice in it. Dump the bag containing the Ice Cream base in the ice and let it chill for at least 30 MINUTES! 

While you wait for the base to chill get started on the nuts. You will need:

-3/4 cup of almonds or pecans

-1 tablespoon unsalted butter

-1/2 teaspoon sea salt 

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F. Melt your butter and mix the nuts in the butter till fully coated. Next add the salt and mix. 

Place the nuts on a baking sheet and pop in the oven for about 10-15 minutes. This is my favorite part because it makes your house smell divine!

Now let's get back to the Ice Cream. Once the base is chilled get your Ice Cream machine out. Pour your base into the machine and let the magic begin for about 20-30 minutes. About 5 minutes before the Ice Cream is finished add in your salty nuts. Then, ta-da, you have a fall-tastic Ice Cream. You can eat it right away ,if you like soft serve, or set in the freezer if you want it a little more firm. 

Try this Jeni's Ice Cream recipe... I promise you won't regret it. This will be wonderful for cold weekends in. I know that's a little ironic considering it's Ice Cream, but the flavors scream fall. Cuddle up, put on a movie, and enjoy your homemade Ice Cream. If you tried this out,and found it helpful,let me know. Happy Ice Cream eating!

-AbbeyShae 

Ways To Make Your Day A Little Sweeter

So, this was me yesterday...happily smiling with my Pumpkin Ice Cream to kick off fall. Things quickly took a turn for the worst later that night. I had a fever, on top of a headache and muscle pains. Today has been a bit of a downer being sick and all, but I know we all have those days wether we are sick,lonely,stressed,or just not having a great day. To turn my day around, I thought I would share with you what I do to make my day a little sweeter. 

1.GRAB A SWEET TREAT
This first tip goes with the picture above. Whenever I am down I like to grab a sweet treat I normally wouldn't eat unless it is a special occasion or the weekend. Now, I am not saying eating will solve all of your problems...or over eating...this will add to your problems. Everything in moderation. However, splurging on a treat every now and then won't hurt. It will brighten your day a bit and make you feel like it's a special occasion. Since fall is here there are lots of sweet treats to choose from...check out my Ice Cream recipe for a chocolatey sweet treat. 

2.EAT HEALTHY AND EXERCISE
Now,I know this doesn't really go with #1, but I can't stress enough; everything in moderation! Eating healthy and exercising is something you should try to incorporate into your everyday lifestyle,but I think it's especially important when you are feeling down,sick,or tired. I understand if you are feeling super sick that it's probably not a good idea to go run a marathon. However, you can get your body moving somehow wether it's by doing yoga or just walking around the house. Even though you may not be motivated to do it...make yourself! You will feel so much better afterwords. The same thing goes with eating healthy. It's such a cliche, but it's true; when you put good in you will get good out. Healthy is happy.

3.KEEP THE TUNES ON REPEAT
When I listen to music it can really change my mood. Music can  get your emotions flowing. When you aren't having the best day play music whenever it gets too quiet. Feel in the silence with a happy song playlist...you could even add extra happiness by dancing. Make sure you are listening to happy songs rather than breakup songs or any other type of depressing genre. That could be bad and have the opposite affect! Here are a few of my happy songs you may like:

-"I Fell It All"-Feist https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-1Gb2rxzlk

-"Divisionary(Do The Right Thing)"-Ages and Ages https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDQOC48md4Y

-"Shake"-The Head and the Heart https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89JdR-SQjB0

.....and of course T.Swift's "Shake it Off." (:

4.STAY AWAY FROM SOCIAL MEDIA
Okay, so I guess this isn't something to-do rather than something to avoid. Social media, in my opinion, can be a wonderful thing, however, it can be really negative at times. When you take a look into what others are doing you can sometimes start to compare your life to theirs. This isn't a good thing, especially when you're already feeling down. On days you aren't feeling the best put down you phone and computer. Instead of looking at what others are doing, go out and do something, make something, experiences something yourself. It will make you happier in the end. 

5.READ
I understand that not everyone is a avid reader.
You don't have to read a novel or encyclopedia or whatever you find boring to follow this tip. You could sit down with your favorite magazine (mine is Darling Magazine pictured of the right). Whatever you read though, make sure it is something positive. Reading something spiritual, encouraging, humorous, or positive could really take your mind off of negative things. I like to read my Bible, Darling Magazine, or anything with a good message. Reading can help you focus on happier things and give you a better outlook on your day. 

6.CHALLENGE YOURSELF
My last tip, to make your day a little sweeter, is to challenge yourself. Get outside of your comfort zone and do something you wouldn't normally do. Whenever I try something I have been a little hesitant about, when it's done I feel really accomplished. Do something you've always wanted to do, but have been too shy to try. This could range from making a dinner you've never tried before to running an extra mile. You know your personal goals. Try to accomplish one. In the long run you will be glad you did, and it could really turn your day around!

I hope you can try some of these tips and find that they are helpful. We all have "those days" but you have to be the one to turn things around. If you have any tips you would like to share, that I left out, please let me know. Have a happy day. 
-AbbeyShae

 
p.s.- This picture made me laugh. Happy Fall!